One of our loyal readers left a request for a more detailed explanation of the level system for behavior modification. This is the system I use in my own home, but it isn’t without its drawbacks. See “Effective Discipline” post for more information. It simply works for me and my family.

First off you will need to purchase a poster paper or some other type of whiteboard. I use a poster divided into three rows and three columns. The rows are numbered 1, 2 and 3. The first column has two pieces of small velcro on each row. This holds the the “strike tags.” (explained below). The next columns list the responisbilities and the rewards.

The strike tags are 2 inch pieces of laminated paper with each child’s picture on them and three boxes. There is a piece of velcro on the back so it can be attached to any of the levels. The three boxes represent the “strikes.” Basically three strikes and you move down a level.

Level 1: This is the lowest level. Here the responsibilities are just to exist in the home with the family. It represents a bad attitude, not keeping the house rules, etc. In return the “rewards” are early bedtime (one hour before level 3), no screen time, no friends and no allowance. Parents make all decisions related to the child’s life.

Level 2: At level two a child is doing o.k. but isn’t really being the best child. This is a child who requires more parent involvement than level 3 but less than level 1. They have to be reminded more than once to complete chores. They are coming to tattle-tale and parents are resolving their conflicts. They are keeping SOME houserules. In return, they receive 1/2 of their allowance, free time is parent’s choice, and an early bedtime (30 minutes before level 3).

Level 3: A level three child is doing excellent. They are only reminded once to complete tasks, they have happy and helpful attitudes, they are keeping all house rules, etc. In return they get to pick their own free time, they get a full allowance and a late bedtime.

The ultimate concept behind the level system is that the less I have to be a “police parent” the more freedom they get.

Moving up or down and strikes: When a child makes a bad decision they receive a strike. Since the poster and the strike tags are laminated, I have them use a wet erase marker to mark the strikes. After 3 strikes they have to move down a level. This lasts for at least 2 days. If they can live at that level without receiving additional strikes they can move up again. On Sunday, I reset the strikes to zero. However, if they are on a level 2 or 1 they cannot move up until they have completed the 2 days with no strikes.

Variations: I have seen variations of the level system using colors (red, yellow, and green). I have also seen some with multiple levels and no strikes. You can basically be as creative or extensive as you want. There is no right or wrong way to make it work.

I really like this system because it is a model for real life. As adults we are expected to live at certain responsibility levels. When we fail to be responsible, there are natural consequences for these decisions. No one is there to ensure responsible behavior with threats of grounding, spankings, time outs, etc. The level system provides a model for these natural consequences. However, my favorite part about the levels is there is less monitoring of consequences. For example, with a time out a parent has to make sure it happens by constant monitoring of the punishment. I hated watching my child sit on the naughty spot and waiting with them to complete the minutes. It was like a punishment for me too. A strike is short lived and takes less than 30 seconds to administer. A level drop may seem like grounding, but I don’t have to search for an appropriate time frame or what they are grounded from. It is all pre-arranged. Everyone knows what will happen when the level drops. I found with grounding I would react out of anger or frustration and I would make the punishment more severe than I really wanted to enforce. Maybe I am just a lazy parent, but my children don’t seem to be too out of control, so I guess it is working. If it stops working, I know I can find something new.

Thanks again to Kitty Mom for this request. I hope it was helpful.