Consistently I have heard people talk about discipline and what the “best” technique is. My opinion is the best discipline technique is one that you can do consistently. Consistency is the only way a discipline technique will be effective. You have to do it the same, 24/7. So I have summarized some of the discipline techniques I have used and what my opinion of the pros and cons are. I do not condone corporal punishment of any type.

Time outs

One of the most common forms of discipline. This is basically when a child does something wrong he/she is placed in a certain spot for a designated amount of time.

Pros- This is an easy discipline technique. You do not have to search for an appropriate consequence, just put them in a chair/naughty spot. It can be done anywhere at anytime if necessary. It is easy to explain the technique to substitute caregivers and maintain consistency with baby sitters, etc.

Cons- It can be time consuming to enforce the time-out if your child is strong willed. If the naughty spot is not in the same place as the parent, there is no way to know if it is being carried out correctly. (i.e go to your room) There is no logic attached to consequence. This technique is less effective with older children.

Reward

Reward programs vary, but essentially it is stickers or some other small token that a child earns with good behavior. Usually followed by a larger reward when they have done well over time.

Pros- Helps a child feel their positive behaviors are noticed. Rewards usually include child/parent bonding time (i.e shopping trips, movies, etc). Easy to incorporate and pass on to substitute caregivers. Effective with young and preteen children.

Cons- If not used correctly, can feel like a bribe. Requires constant monitoring to make sure the positive behaviors are being noticed. Children can get bored easily if rewards aren’t fun or changing. What do you do when negative behavior occurs?

***I recommend a short lived reward program for specific behavior modification. For example, if you want your child to complete tasks the first time they are asked. You would simply award a sticker or something each time the child does the right thing. Eventually it will become a habit and the program can stop.***

Level system

This is a program that focuses on responsibilities and privileges. Basically it can be numbered or colored. Each level represents expected behaviors and if these behaviors are done then certain privileges can be obtained. Good behavior=more privileges, bad behavior=more restrictions.

Pros- Easy to enforce without a power struggle. Once it is set up it is easy to continue with little effort. Logical and can be used for school-aged children through teenagers.

Cons- Requires extensive setup of level board and rules. Can be difficult to explain to substitute caregivers.

Grounding

Basically a removal of privileges based on a negative behavior choice. Removal of privileges can rage from hours to days and weeks.

Pros- Can be used for school-aged through teenagers. Logical consequences. Easy to pass on to substitute caregivers.

Cons- Needs constant monitoring to ensure consequences are enforced. Occasionally parents will state a punishment (in anger, without thinking)that can’t be completed without serious effects on the family.

 

Personally, I choose to use the level system. I feel it compliments my lifestyle. I am able to enforce consequences with little power struggle. You are either living at the level expected or you aren’t. I will admit it was a chore to get the whole thing set up, but it is worth it. I can reward good behavior with a level increase or vice versa. Whatever method you choose, the key is consistency. You have to make sure that you are enforcing consequences and rewards as applicable. Miss once and it is an honest mistake. Miss more than once and all of the sudden you are a parent that can be fooled. Children rely on you to tell them how to behave and to enforce appropriate boundaries. It makes them feel safe and secure. It will be worth it in the long run, I promise!