My story begins in July 2001 when my family instantly grew by two. I had been married for 3 years and I had no children. We found out that my husband’s first wife was in trouble and had been charged with neglect of her children. The Division of Child and Family services had gotten involved and her children were removed from her home.

We knew at the time that we were likely going to gain custody of his son, Tyler. Two days prior to the court hearing we received a phone call from the caseworker asking if we would be willing to be foster parents for Tyler’s half-sister, Lexi. At first we were very hesitant to do so because we didn’t know how that was going to work and what we were willing to be responsible for. However, it only took us about 2 hours to decide that we should do it. We contacted the caseworker and told her we would do it. We knew in our hearts it was the right thing to do.

Having never been a mother, I was dealt a large helping of reality. I was 23 years old and suddenly the mother of two children. To make things worse, these weren’t your average children. These children had endured 2 years of severe neglect and trauma. I had no idea what challenges lay before me.

A few months later I learned that I was dealing with a disorder called Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). At first I was told that RAD children cannot be helped, they are damaged forever and would likely grow up to be mass murderers or socio-paths. T

o say the least, I was terrified. This was scary!! However, with the help of a good therapist and supportive social workers, I learned that although RAD has long lasting effects and is a life long struggle, these children were not doomed. We could make this work. We could find a way to teach them.

6 years later I am still working to teach my kids. I have learned there is no quick fix and there are no breaks. This is a disorder that has impacted every aspect of my life. I have learned to ignore the advice of the ignorant. I have learned to better take care of myself and I have learned that parenting these children will be the hardest task of my life. However, I have also learned to trust in God and I have gained knowledge and those concepts coupled together have given me hope when the world seemed hopeless and joy in the smallest of changes.

This is just a summary and I will add specifics as time progresses. I hope that my story and sharing of knowledge will help someone deal with their own challenges and maybe gain insight to help a troubled child. I look at this as a journey with bumps and turns along the way but I am willing to take the drive.